One Side of The Phone Call -- Flash Fiction -- An homage to Bob Newhart

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  Hi, Dad. I just wanted to call and let you know we’re all okay.

  Falstaff? Yes, yes. He’s fine. He misses you.

  Yes, he does look a lot like a bear. That’s kinda why I called. We had a bear on the deck.

  No, no. A real bear. I guess it smelled the hot dogs.

  No, I got Falstaff into the house. He was pretty excited, but he scared the bear when he broke through the sliding glass door.

  Oh yeah. It left. So. How’s the weather there?

  Oh, yes. It is Hawaii. I know. Warm in the day and rain every afternoon. Yeah. We had rain here, too. A good thing. Helped put out the fire.

  Oh, you know. When the bear got scared he knocked over the grill.

  Called them. Sure did. They got here pretty quick.

  Yeah. The deck’s gone, but they saved most of the house.

  Fluffy? Yeah. They got her out. She was hiding in the cabinet under the sink.

  No, no. The kitchen’s okay.

  Yeah. We’re pretty much camping in the front bedroom.

  The fish? No, they couldn’t get them out. But they’re okay. That corner of the living room is okay, but your big screen . . . . Well, it’s gone.

  No, no. You stay there. Enjoy the rest of your vacation. We’re fine. The police said they’d drive by. Keep out looters.

  No. We can’t really lock the house, but Falstaff and I will be here. And Fluffy. Ha ha. Not that she’s much help defending the castle.

  Yeah. You probably can get a flight out today. You’ll need to take a shuttle from the airport. I can’t come get you.

  Well, you know . . . . The car . . . . 
  Yeah, both of them.

  See you soon.

  Yeah, I love you, too.